Update: I decided to tone down my rhetoric a bit at the bottom of the post. No need to be rude — I need to channel my passion into positive speech!
Things are going really, really well. Rosemary and I are in a very good place right now in our relationship. Our weekend was superb — my best 4th ever! — and, considering all the clutter in our schedule (so what else is new?!), we’ve been having a blast this week. This is in stark contrast to just a couple of weeks ago when things were going very poorly. Which brings me to my little rant for the day:
Being in love is [censored] nuts. I wish someone had warned me.
Seriously, I apparently grew up with a very skewed concept of this whole romance thing. I thought that I’d just bump into someone someday and fall head over heals in love with them, and either they’d think I’m out of my mind or they’d fall in love with me too and then we’d enjoy a long stretch of romantic bliss before finally popping the question and getting married — a life event of unparalleled ecstasy. I figured all the arduous, heart-rending, gut-wrenching, soul-searching moments of relational crisis would come much, much later, when boredom and toddlers and wrinkles and dumb jobs and drifting goals would start to tear away at our marriage and require some serious communication tune-ups.
Needless to say, since I’m writing this post, I was wrong. Romance is really, really difficult! It’s something you have to fight for with every fiber of your being, and sometimes you’re going to get toasted. Please understand, I am not talking about your significant other! The fight is inside of yourself. If you can master that internal struggle, the battle raging in the hinterlands of your heart and soul; if you can maintain that lifeline in your spirit to the divine Spirit, and discover what it truly means to lay your life down for another; then the romance that is birthed out of the fire of that holy love is like nothing else in the world.
Every time Rosemary and I have been able to weather the storms that have come against us and reach that point of breakthrough in midst of our issues, we’ve emerged stronger and more in love with each other than ever before. I continue to be amazed at how profound unity is after division has been eradicated. I must confess that the overwhelming totality of the effect our state of being has on one another has taken me completely by surprise. To be honest, it scares me. When someone is allowed to posses such a deep connection to me, I am potentially rendered very powerless.
This is a good thing.
I am preparing to get married in the very near future. And the fundamental building block of a true and lasting marriage is this: I am choosing to entrust my life to another human being. When the time comes to say “I do”, I will no longer be my own man. I will belong to my wife. I don’t think anyone can explain to you what that feels like. Which brings me to my next little rant (which I’ll expand more on in the future):
A lot of the “Christian” dating/relationship books out there really bug me. In fact, I think the genre is overrun with a great deal of bad advice or shallow clichés. My Google searches have come up with more pap than profit.
I wish I could write a book about how to have a Spirit-filled romance that honors God and the person you love while avoiding pseudo-spiritual weirdness and cultivating excitement, passion, fun, and growing intimacy. Maybe I will. Rant over.
I’m going to go watch an action film and veg. See you later!