I have a couple of different blog series on the backburner, and I intend to get both of them going again shortly, but first I just wanted to air some thoughts I’ve had in my head lately. Basically, this is the gist of them:
When it comes to life planning, I suck.
All the best things in life I’ve slipped into by accident.
What am I talking about? I’m talking about me coming to the curious realization that nearly everything good that’s ever happened to me was not the result of a devious scheme I hatched up to make my life fantastic, but just happened rather out of the blue through a set of strange and uncontrollable circumstances. I just “happen” to be at the right place at the right time with the right people doing the right things, and life unfolds. Which begs the obvious question:
Why do I grit my teeth and spend so much effort trying to make life go the way I think it should?
God has been showing me a lot over the past few months, and one of the things I’ve been learning is how desperately I need to trust Him with my destiny. You see, the interesting thing about destiny is that it isn’t so much about what you end up doing at the end of the road, but what happens to you along the way. To quote Yeesha from the game Uru: “some will seek the destination, but you should seek the Journey.”
Thus, getting back to my original statement, I really suck at planning my life. Just about everything I’ve sat down and planned out in great detail turned out to be a bunch of nothing. And just about everthing that came at me unawares and unintended ended up being awesome. Now don’t misunderstand me — I am not saying we should just sit back and be passive and let life pass us by. We need to be intentional and active about our attitudes and our behaviors, towards ourselves as well as others. What I am saying is that most of the time we waste our time focusing on the huge, overarching, big picture when we should be spending our time focusing on the little things day by day. God gives us a little, we steward a little faithfully, and then He gives us much. This is a Biblical principle and one that Jesus repeats in various forms over and over and over again.
So I give up. I don’t want to plan my life. I totally suck at it. God seems to be doing a much better job of it than I ever have, so I’d better wait on Him and let Him work His magic. Who am I to blow against the wind?