For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, Abba! Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.

Romans 8:15-16

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Matthew 5:3,6,8

Something is happening to me. I can feel it. I can see it operating in my life. I hear it whispering to me. I know it’s there. It’s my spirit — someone’s gotten ahold of my spirit and has quickened it…made it come alive. My spirit is invading my thoughts, my emotions. My troubled soul is getting a makeover, and my spirit is taking over.

The question isn’t why, it’s how.

How can I exist in two different states at the same time? How can I be still be living in fear, in complacency, in depression and selfishness, and yet I am living in love and in truth, a free man, a victorious king, a warrior who has vanquished powerful foes, an agent of kingdom transformation, an inheritor of a royal priesthood, a child of the almighty God?

I became acutely aware of this strange phenomenon this week. I kept being invaded in my sleep and my daydreams. I’d be caught up in the busyness and stress of the week, ready just to drop dead in weariness and fatigue, and then it’d happen. I’d start singing praises to Jesus! I’d fall asleep on the bus, feeling like something the cat dragged in, and all of a sudden I’d wake up with songs of love to the Lord on my lips. Or I’d be on a break outside, my mind racing and my body aching, and then love for my Creator would begin to wash over me and my spirit would connect with His Spirit and the thanksgiving would begin to flow. Oh, what is happening to me?

My spirit is growing, and its getting aggressive. I’m not talking about the Holy Spirit, I’m talking about MY spirit. The one that was born again into the Kingdom of God many years ago. It was a little baby for so long…but no longer. It is a man. And it is growing. And I am growing, and I can’t escape one simple fact:

God won’t stop until my spirit, intimately intertwined with Holy Spirit, has completely consumed my entire being — my thoughts, my emotions, my dreams, my desires, and my identity — so that it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

The Misty Edwards song is absolutely true: God won’t relent until He has it all. And I am falling, falling under His glorious spell; His love turning me into something so amazing, so profound, that sometimes it scares me. But it shouldn’t, because God, above all else, is good. And that is a good thing.

I am forever changed.